Strategic Growth - Chrissanne Long Coaching

Separate Yourself – A Suggestion for Changemakers

August 10, 2021/in Strategic Growth/by Chrissanne

Doing good comes with a downside. Maybe that’s why so many people just give up and stop trying. The reason we surround ourselves with the people we do is that they “get us.” They know our hearts. But we cannot live in a bubble. If we just surround ourselves with the people who understand us, there’s little chance that the change we want to make — the good that we want to do in the world, will ever come to be if we choose to just play it safe in our little world of like-minded people.

That doesn’t make it easier to deal with when we’re asked to prove our integrity, or when we’re questioned about our motives.

Remember, Pressure is a Privilege (I wrote about this recently, and I still need to remind myself of this regularly — and that will continue to be the way it is, so long as we continue to choose to fight the good fight.)

I recently received a message from a close friend who shared his frustration about the dialogues in our city about a Confederate monument and the social divisiveness it has created in our community. He followed this message with — “I am only sharing this with you, because — you know my heart.”

The world is filled with so much negativity, that a person who has their heart in the right place is just completely vulnerable to the hatred — and this makes it harder and harder to keep at it. The noise, the voices of the people who believe there’s probably a hidden agenda, or some dirty dealings, or simply are unwilling to consider that there is another side — make it difficult for people who want to make a difference to keep trying.

Gut (Reality) Check

As long as there are people who strive to make a difference, there will always be people on the other side, bringing their negativity, “snarkiness” and even accusations to the table.

When we are faced with these challenges, it’s easy to consider just pulling up the cords and walking away. And allow our thoughts to go something like this: This work doesn’t really matter. I am

not making a difference. Maybe they are right. I am done with this BS. We’re supposed to ignore sunk costs — maybe that’s what this is — another sunk cost. Time to walk away.

But this is when we absolutely must strengthen our resolve. We need to put on our “big girl panties” and carry on. And, we need to find a way to separate ourselves from the negativity.

Here are some things to remember when you’re feeling the effects of the negative energy that inevitably will surface.

The toxic energy that surrounds you is not you.
Their negative interpretation of your actions is not you.
The rude, insensitive responses to something good is not a reason to stop — it is a reason to keep going.
You will never know the pain that they are enduring — and this means you must not let their pain be your pain.
Fortify your soul and refresh by taking a good, long break. Staying wrapped up in the negativity will eventually wear you down.
At times like these, take a long, hard look at the work you have done. Don’t let the single heckler in the crowd distract you from seeing the good you’ve been doing — The results of your work should always be louder than that single voice.

Showing up to do the work you are being called to do requires GRIT. And, in order to stay positive, work through the challenges, and keep plugging away, you have to know where you’re going. This might be a great time to write it down. So that when the next wave of negativity comes, you can remember what you told yourself:

Here are my favorite quotes to help me through these days.

This Might Not Matter — Refusing Apathy

August 5, 2021/in Strategic Growth/by Chrissanne

In my experience, the world is filled with unresolved conflict. I am not referring to Syria, or Health Care or Crime Rates, or Unemployment. These are certainly unresolved conflicts — cultural, economic, and government concerns that are, of course, as great a concern to me as they likely are to you.

However, this post is about the internal conflicts — the ones we can (if we choose to) collectively work to resolve, in order to better manage the issues that seem to be getting more and more out of control. The conflicts that, left unchecked lead to apathy.

A world of whatever, meh, and blank stares, order takers, and time-card-punching is not a world-inspired. Far from it. But this is the world I see around me.

And, that’s why passion matters.

When I look around me, at the people I connect to and at the friends I spend time with — sadly, most of them probably won’t read this. It’s not something that I worry much about, but it’s an acknowledgment that I must make and address within my heart — how do I handle the fact that the words I write are of little to no interest to the people I am closest, and with whom I spend the most time? And, how do I keep going without their support, or even the mildest of interest? They too are apathetic. I am not judging, merely observing. There’s more interest in watching Reality TV than there is in creating REALITY conversations. But, how does one singularly resolve this? Solitary confinement?

It’s an unresolved conflict — and the answer is, for the most part, I just keep going.

I see greatness in the world. Beauty and sunshine in the faces of my friends. And, when they start beaming, and feeling a little pride, or passion, I see them flinch, almost visibly, and they apologize for getting so excited about something so “trivial.” My heart wants to encourage them, inspire them to kindle this fire within them, and help them see what is percolating there if only they would allow it to grow. I want to be surrounded by this energy.

We have one job — to shine our light in the world. We have to do this, whether or not the world around us is watching, caring, listening, or even aware.

Apathy is our biggest enemy. And yet, most of us see that apathy in the faces of our loved ones and we apply it to — ourselves. We won’t allow ourselves to express our exuberance, or feel the temptation of trying something new, or taking a risk — or a stand. We’re afraid of being ourselves.

But I implore you — PLEASE don’t let this fear steal who you were born to be.

We cannot let their apathy steal our joy. We cannot give the energy vampires the power to take away our passion, and our desire to make a difference. We cannot just give in and “go along to get along!”

And, we must fortify our friends, and support their dreams and desires, and encourage that flame to ignite into a fire.

We all have one job — and it is the same job: To love this life with all our might, and to “not go gentle into that good night.”

We are here to “rage, rage against the dying of the light.” Without the light, there is nothing we can do to create a world designed for living.

And, I am on the team that wants to live in a world that celebrates living. IF you’re with me, believing in a life worth living, share this with your friend. Start a conversation about something important to you. Don’t apologize for pulling them away from the screen. Give yourself permission to be someone who invites others to share their ideas, and by doing so, you will unconsciously begin to give yourself that same grace. We need you.

It’s your turn. It’s OUR Turn.

Look for The Helpers

August 3, 2021/in Strategic Growth/by Chrissanne

“When I was a boy and I would see scary things in the news, my mother would say to me, ‘Look for the helpers. You will always find people who are helping.’

To this day, especially in times of “disaster,” I remember my mother’s words and I am always comforted by realizing that there are still so many helpers — so many caring people in this world.” — Mister Rogers

As a 17-year-old, in Miami after Hurricane Andrew, I remember a lot of specific details.

Yes, there were houses with spray paint that said “Looters will be Shot.” There was devastation and loss.

But the immediate memories that I recall had to do with the Helpers.

My most vivid memory is the one of my dad, arriving from 4 hours away — a drive that took him almost 7 hours to make — with brand new chain saws that were unavailable in Miami for weeks after the storm had passed.

Our street was completely blocked — and not a priority for disaster relief. If we’d waited for them to come, it would have been weeks before our neighbors could have returned home.

My dad brought the chain saws, and I remember vividly the joy I felt when he taught me how to use one, so I could help. Maybe I wasn’t responsible for clearing much of the trees blocking the street, but I was there, doing something — helping. And that gave me a feeling I hadn’t known before — purpose.

Yes, helping gives us purpose — meaning. In spite of whatever stress is surrounding us, in helping, there’s an incredible gift to gain.

That’s why, when there is any kind of disaster, you will always find people volunteering to help.

Just look around. And, when you see someone else stepping forward to help, join them — you can always find a way to help.

Even if it’s just to offer someone a reassuring smile, or to give them one of the last loaves of bread on the shelf, or to bring your chain saw to help them clear their driveway.

Getting outside of your own frustration and helping someone else solve their problems, will lead you to something really profound — the only thing more meaningful than you helping your neighbors, is teaching your children the power in the actions of helping their neighbors.

As we recover from the aftermath, whatever that might be, I believe the greatest stories will come from helping. 24 years from now, what will your children remember about their experience in times of crisis? The frustration and uncertainty of no electricity, no Internet, no hot water?

Or the feeling they might get from helping?