Personal Growth - Chrissanne Long Coaching

Answering His Call

August 4, 2016/in About Me, Personal Growth, Reinventing Awesome/by Chrissanne

I have always been a sensitive soul – (I know, many of you would recommend that I don’t share something like that in such a public way) easily hurt, idealistic and passionate about the entire human experience. Longing to feel connected, valued and understood. Often feeling far from all of these.

Feeling ALIVE has really been the only goal I have known. Most of the advice I was given growing up was to “toughen up” “stop worrying about what other people think” and “your skin is too thin, the world will eat you alive.”

At times, I felt like I wasn’t meant for this world. If I was going to succeed, I would need to change who I was – and that seemed like selling out and, well, pretty impossible. So, I have continued to fight the good fight – claiming my space in the world and continuing to do everything I can to be human, in spite of the vulnerability and risk that brings.

Ironically, as I have become more comfortable with my thin skin, and by claiming and accepting my vulnerability, I have become stronger and more confident. I have also learned to use it as my shield against negativity and cynicism, I have discovered along the way, that there are many other people like me, who appreciate humanness. We are a growing army, and I love feeling the energy of all of you who shine your light on me with your kindness, and acceptance, love and appreciation of who I am.

This has been the greatest reward of being myself. To be met with the opportunity to connect and grow with you, my fellow journeyers – and that was why, initially, I embarked on my quest. To find you, and, if you existed, to connect with you in a very real, meaningful way. Because these connections make me feel alive, which is the only thing I have ever truly wanted!

This is exciting! And yet, the most unexpected result of all has been to achieve success. To become a leader of a company, was never something I would have been able to envision. And yet, here I am. And doing a darn good job! 🙂

My journey has been – and continues to be – filled with challenges, which is to be expected. But I’m often struck at moments like this with amazement and awe of the person I have become. And each time I allow myself an indulgent moment to pause and reflect, as I am doing today, sharing this message, I realize that God is here, shining His light and encouraging me to answer His call. He’s been doing this all along. My resistance to the idea that I must change who I was in order to succeed, has been Him. The voice in my head has been Him whispering; encouraging me to be myself and to lead with courage, confidence and openness. To listen and learn. To always love, in spite of the ugliness, and hate that fills the world, He has been nodding and smiling, encouraging me to keep being me. And today, I humbly and happily accept His request.

If there’s anything I can offer to you, the reader, it is this. By shining your light, and sharing your love with the world, you welcome and embrace people like me. Love is magnetic. It pulls out others who love, and gives them permission to be themselves; to give their best; to forgive; to accept; to be human, and to embrace all that it means to be a child of God. So, please be that person. Even when it seems like it’s not “right.” Even when it seems like you should care less. Care more. Because that is what we need today. It’s what we have always needed. We can’t give in. We are ONE.

Welcome to the Light

December 5, 2015/in Personal Growth/by Chrissanne

Every day that I wake up and get out of bed is a victory.

Inexplicable darkness is worse than monsters in the closet… at least when there are monsters in the closet, you can close and barricade the door.

Inexplicable darkness is that shame, guilt, sadness that you can’t explain – and when you try, no one understands. They try…. but you know they can’t feel your emptiness, and their solutions aren’t going to come close to filling the holes that only you can see.

Inexplicable darkness means you have to pretend or stay home. If you go out, you can’t talk about the pain and there’s nothing else that exists in your mind other than the pain. So you stay home. You self-medicate, you cry, you sleep, you stay away from those who love you because you don’t want to hurt them any more than you already have. You can see the pain in their eyes and it makes your pain even worse. They think you are making excuses, they believe you should be able to cope the way they, and everyone else does. But you can’t. You Can’t.

You know – you believe – it’s a FACT that you are mad, crazy, dramatic, overwhelming, exhausting, poisonous, draining – useless.

Success is believing in the Process, even when you don’t believe in yourself.

It isn’t perfection. Not even close.

Success is changing the dialogue you have with yourself. Success is getting up and going at it, whether or not you want to.

It’s doing it, even if you don’t know why, or if it will work. Success is proving to yourself that you CAN, because you DID.

And, at the end of the day, success is being able to say, “I did it today, so I can do it again tomorrow.” – and then doing it again tomorrow. Until you’ve strung tomorrows together enough times that it’s become a week, then a month and then, it’s when you can’t remember the last time you didn’t.

And you cry, because you realized you don’t have to explain the darkness anymore.

Because you are surrounded by the light.

A Note for People with a Dream – and Those who Love Them

December 1, 2015/in Personal Growth/by Chrissanne

Photo Credit: Collider.com

I’m inspired today thinking about the boys in the movie McFarland, USA. 7 boys whose families
had never been past 9th grade, found a way to college. Their status quo could have swallowed them. Instead, they created a new status quo. With a coach who believed in them, a brand new cross country team from a predominantly Mexican town in southern California managed to win 9 cross-country state championships in 14 years. Totally unrealistic in 1987.

Today, it’s a story worth telling – and believing in.

There’s a scene in the movie in which Tomas is speaking with his father about the possibility of winning the state championship, and that winning a state championship might give him an opportunity to go to college. His father, worn down from hard work and struggling to support his family tells Tomas to forget about college. He tells him spending time reading is going to ruin his eyes.

It was that moment when things could have completely changed for Tomas (and the team). If Tomas had succumbed to the reality of his father’s words. If he had bought in to the mindset that he was never going to be any more than a “picker,” that may have determined a different outcome for Mc Farland’s cross-country team. But he managed to hold on to hope – an idea that maybe, just maybe running could take him further than his father could see. No one would have blamed him if he had given up. It was totally unrealistic to imagine their team could ever win the state championship. But they did.

The belief in a dream/idea is so fragile, almost fleeting.

Photo Credit: Collider.com

We all know that not all ideas are great. But who determines if a dream has legs? Only us. To vet a dream is to learn a lesson. By trying, we can learn for ourselves what works and what doesn’t work. No one can accurately predict the viability of an idea without testing it. The first iteration will be clumsy, awkward, and might be a flop – we’ll probably come in 4th out of 4 teams – otherwise known as last place. But that process of failing – that is when the idea grow its wings. The courage to show up at the next race and the next. That is what greatness is made of.

As a young girl, I grew up in a family filled with love. There were no barriers to the love, but I felt barriers to my abilities, and, as they say, my perception was my reality. For reasons that don’t matter today, I felt limited in my abilities. My ideas were disregarded as idealistic – and they were, because I was never brave enough to take action, to test my dreams, to shoot for the stars. Today, I realize that idealists – people with dreams – are special people. People who are encouraged to try (and fail) are the most creative people on Earth. They follow their heart, even if everyone else thinks they are crazy.

Photo Credit: Collider.com

As a dreamer, I will warn you: To put yourself out there is a risk. People will laugh at you. They will criticize you, they might even call you stupid. But if we dreamers can remember one simple fact, we might get beyond the fear and change the world anyway: If it’s our dream, it’s our job to make it a reality. No one else can – because no one else sees exactly what we see. Thank goodness for people like Jim White and for the dreamers who are willing to take the risk, daring to be champions.

“You guys are superhuman. What you endured just to be here, and get a shot at this; the kind of privilege that someone like me takes for granted… There’s nothing you can’t do with that kind of strength – with that kind of heart – you kids have the biggest hearts I’ve ever seen. Go win the race.” – Jim White, McFarland, USA

Making a Strong Case for Starting

May 31, 2013/in Personal Growth/by Chrissanne

In the last few years I have discovered several books that have helped me give myself “permission” to listen to my heart and begin following my own path – not someone else’s idea of what would be the best path for me. It started when I discovered Simon Sinek and his TED Talk on the subject of “Starting with Why.” I bought his book Start with Why: How Great Leaders Inspire Everyone to Take Action. If you haven’t read it, you might want to check it out. The only trouble I have had with “Why”, is explaining it to other people.

As a result of reading Start With Why, I have found helping people “find their why” has become my own passion, but it has proven to be a difficult task when talking to people who are hung up on “how.” The results are important, don’t get me wrong, but some of the greatest leaders in history would not have persevered long enough to become great leaders if they had been driven strictly by the results of their efforts. Great leaders are motivated by “why” and that makes all the difference. Sinek emphasizes that everyone needs to have the ability to move from “why” to “how”, but you have to start with “why”.

And then, two different friends told me about another author I had not yet heard of: Jon Acuff and his book Start. Punch Fear in the Face, Escape Average, Do Work that Matters. (Rob Beaudreault @challengeyourfamily, who gave me an autographed copy and John McKee @CatalystJohn who asked me about creating a contest in which he can give away an autographed copy using Facebook and his blog. We had a lot of fun running that contest!

Start, in my opinion, provides a more practical approach to finding your “WHY.” You’ll find a lot of similarities to Start with Why in this book about escaping average. The difference is that Acuff refers to Sinek’s suggestion to “find your why” as finding your “Awesome.” It challenges the reader to recall the days in her life when she believed she was awesome. Acuff, like Sinek believes it’s within all of us, but somewhere along the line we lost sight of it. They both think it’s still there, but as adults, we have to work a little harder to find it.

Whenever I introduce a new concept, I try to prepare for those who will challenge it because it’s unfamiliar to them. That is what has occurred when I discuss the importance of following one’s passion, or starting with why. People insist it isn’t practical. If everyone just followed their heart, and their passions, there wouldn’t be anyone getting anything done. I think Acuff’s response to someone who challenged him in this way is perfect:

“You’re confusing awesome with a job title. Awesome is the core of who you are. It’s your heart, your soul, the fabric of what makes you. A job title is just a consequence of you living out of your awesome. I’m not trying to tell people to go out and find new job titles; I’m telling them to escape average.”

Whether you’re living and working in your “awesome” or not, you’ll enjoy reading Jon Acuff’s newest book because it’s real. He’s in his awesome and he wants you to have the opportunity to do the same. It’s not unrealistic, and it’s not selfish to consider those things that give you the most joy. As a matter of fact, Acuff says, “being who you are designed to be always results in in selflessness, not selfishness.

Finding Experts in Your Own Back Yard | Catalyst John – Business Coach

May 7, 2013/in Personal Growth/by Chrissanne

Tell Them What You Really Need.

Are you an entrepreneur? Someone working hard to turn a dream into a reality? I’ll bet you have 15 books written by experts you can’t talk to face to face, and you have 15 people that you can talk to face to face telling you how *they* think you should do it. There’s someone in Lakeland, (yes, there ARE experts in Lakeland) named @CatalystJohn. He has a gift, and he’s sharing it with those who are willing to admit that they don’t have it all figured out yet, but believe strongly in their vision. People who know they have something great to share with the world, but they just can’t seem to get it out by themselves.

I know how it feels to have a vision for something spectacularly awesome, and I know how it feels to get stuck because there’s no road map. No clear, proven direction. I have been frozen with fear before. And, while I am not alone (thanks to my business partner Craig), I can imagine how it would feel if there was no one qualified (or not) who was willing to listen, or offer guidance when I let my own thoughts get in the way of my progress – and slow down my momentum. It’s important that everyone with passion and a strong WHY for their vision has someone capable next to them who can help them hammer out the details of HOW. Not critics. Not naysayers, or people who’ll try talk you out of what you are dreaming. But someone to help you cultivate the dream. To articulate it, to draw it out and develop a plan to make the vision a reality. Sometimes, you need a Catalyst who will help you deliver.

Read John’s words on what we (as entrepreneurs) really need: http://catalystjohn.com/2013/04/29/what-i-really-need/

Connect with John: https://www.facebook.com/catalystjohncoaching