May, 2013 - Chrissanne Long Coaching

Making a Strong Case for Starting

May 31, 2013/in Personal Growth/by Chrissanne

In the last few years I have discovered several books that have helped me give myself “permission” to listen to my heart and begin following my own path – not someone else’s idea of what would be the best path for me. It started when I discovered Simon Sinek and his TED Talk on the subject of “Starting with Why.” I bought his book Start with Why: How Great Leaders Inspire Everyone to Take Action. If you haven’t read it, you might want to check it out. The only trouble I have had with “Why”, is explaining it to other people.

As a result of reading Start With Why, I have found helping people “find their why” has become my own passion, but it has proven to be a difficult task when talking to people who are hung up on “how.” The results are important, don’t get me wrong, but some of the greatest leaders in history would not have persevered long enough to become great leaders if they had been driven strictly by the results of their efforts. Great leaders are motivated by “why” and that makes all the difference. Sinek emphasizes that everyone needs to have the ability to move from “why” to “how”, but you have to start with “why”.

And then, two different friends told me about another author I had not yet heard of: Jon Acuff and his book Start. Punch Fear in the Face, Escape Average, Do Work that Matters. (Rob Beaudreault @challengeyourfamily, who gave me an autographed copy and John McKee @CatalystJohn who asked me about creating a contest in which he can give away an autographed copy using Facebook and his blog. We had a lot of fun running that contest!

Start, in my opinion, provides a more practical approach to finding your “WHY.” You’ll find a lot of similarities to Start with Why in this book about escaping average. The difference is that Acuff refers to Sinek’s suggestion to “find your why” as finding your “Awesome.” It challenges the reader to recall the days in her life when she believed she was awesome. Acuff, like Sinek believes it’s within all of us, but somewhere along the line we lost sight of it. They both think it’s still there, but as adults, we have to work a little harder to find it.

Whenever I introduce a new concept, I try to prepare for those who will challenge it because it’s unfamiliar to them. That is what has occurred when I discuss the importance of following one’s passion, or starting with why. People insist it isn’t practical. If everyone just followed their heart, and their passions, there wouldn’t be anyone getting anything done. I think Acuff’s response to someone who challenged him in this way is perfect:

“You’re confusing awesome with a job title. Awesome is the core of who you are. It’s your heart, your soul, the fabric of what makes you. A job title is just a consequence of you living out of your awesome. I’m not trying to tell people to go out and find new job titles; I’m telling them to escape average.”

Whether you’re living and working in your “awesome” or not, you’ll enjoy reading Jon Acuff’s newest book because it’s real. He’s in his awesome and he wants you to have the opportunity to do the same. It’s not unrealistic, and it’s not selfish to consider those things that give you the most joy. As a matter of fact, Acuff says, “being who you are designed to be always results in in selflessness, not selfishness.

Whose Job is it to get you on the Horse?

May 11, 2013/in Leadership/by Chrissanne

When I was a teacher, I worked hard to inspire my students to take responsibility for their actions, to own their success (and failure). I remember one year in which I was especially frustrated with the lack of initiative of my students. It wasn’t just one class. There was a culture among the seventh graders that year that seemed to have permeated the halls and almost all of the students seemed to be waiting for someone to do the work for them. At one point, midway through the year, I decided to try to illustrate the difficulty that I was having as their teacher, trying to get them to complete their assignments, to listen to the directions, to take the initiative to help themselves create success. I stood on a desk and I asked them this question:

“How are you going to get up here?”

They sat in their desks, looking at up at me, giggling at the fact that I was standing on a desk, waiting for me to answer my own question. I asked a student, to stand next to the desk. I asked him the question again. “Dillon, if you needed to get up here on this desk, how would you do it?” He was enjoying the attention, but he didn’t want to answer the question. He shrugged his shoulders. “Unfortunately,” I told him, “it will never happen if you don’t know how you are going to do it.” He looked at me then.

“I don’t want to get on the desk.”

I asked him to sit down. I asked for a volunteer. Jamie raised her hand then and said, “I want to get on the desk, Ms. Long.” I smiled at her and I asked her to come stand by the desk. “How are you going to get up here, Jamie,” I asked again.

“I have to climb on the chair, but I don’t want to fall”

“I am here, I won’t let you fall.” I extended my hand down to her and she grabbed it, took a step up on the chair and then she stepped up on the desk next to me. Some of the students cheered, but Dillon had his head on his desk. I helped Jamie down from the desk and then I got down and addressed the class. “The first part of getting anything accomplished in life is to want to get it done. Without desire, you can’t accomplish anything. But you’re likely going to need help along the way. If you are waiting for someone else to do the work for you, you are going to be left behind. When it’s time to get the work done, everyone has to do their own work.

“Can you imagine soldiers who couldn’t get up on their own horse?”

As leaders, it can be difficult to accept that not everyone wants to succeed. There comes a time when the people who aren’t able to keep up with the charge will fall behind and be left in the dust. The leader’s job is to lead. It’s up to the people who want to fight for the cause, or get involved in the community, or to help the business succeed, to actually get themselves there. Sometimes, being left behind is exactly what someone needs to realize they want to begin to do the work required to become successful themselves. But, as long as the cavalry isn’t moving, everyone thinks they are part of the charge.

It doesn’t mean you don’t care when you move forward. On the contrary, it’s the only way you can get anything done.

Finding Experts in Your Own Back Yard | Catalyst John – Business Coach

May 7, 2013/in Personal Growth/by Chrissanne

Tell Them What You Really Need.

Are you an entrepreneur? Someone working hard to turn a dream into a reality? I’ll bet you have 15 books written by experts you can’t talk to face to face, and you have 15 people that you can talk to face to face telling you how *they* think you should do it. There’s someone in Lakeland, (yes, there ARE experts in Lakeland) named @CatalystJohn. He has a gift, and he’s sharing it with those who are willing to admit that they don’t have it all figured out yet, but believe strongly in their vision. People who know they have something great to share with the world, but they just can’t seem to get it out by themselves.

I know how it feels to have a vision for something spectacularly awesome, and I know how it feels to get stuck because there’s no road map. No clear, proven direction. I have been frozen with fear before. And, while I am not alone (thanks to my business partner Craig), I can imagine how it would feel if there was no one qualified (or not) who was willing to listen, or offer guidance when I let my own thoughts get in the way of my progress – and slow down my momentum. It’s important that everyone with passion and a strong WHY for their vision has someone capable next to them who can help them hammer out the details of HOW. Not critics. Not naysayers, or people who’ll try talk you out of what you are dreaming. But someone to help you cultivate the dream. To articulate it, to draw it out and develop a plan to make the vision a reality. Sometimes, you need a Catalyst who will help you deliver.

Read John’s words on what we (as entrepreneurs) really need: http://catalystjohn.com/2013/04/29/what-i-really-need/

Connect with John: https://www.facebook.com/catalystjohncoaching

On Becoming a Leader

May 6, 2013/in Leadership/by Chrissanne

What is a Leader?

What ingredients are required in the recipe for Leadership? I recently attended a luncheon in Lakeland in which Marco Rubio spoke (eloquently and passionately – without notes – and plenty of water) about what Leadership is. He explained that Leadership does not divide, Leadership exists in those who lead on principles, not on agendas and “Leaders are not title holders, leaders are people who act.”

Leaders are not title holders.

This resonated with me. Until I found myself in a position of leadership, I believed titles were required. When I started my local business in 2009 – an Internet Marketing Agency in Lakeland, “no one” knew me. Well, no one with titles knew me. Today, I have built an online community of Lakeland professionals who care about our local economy, our community and collaboration. I have no title, but I am a leader. I have been the lone nut, dancing for quite some time – Taking Leadership Lessons from the Dancing Guy, I realize it takes guts to stand out and brave ridicule – but there have been many wonderful people dancing with me along the way, taking that risk too. I embrace these followers and I know that without them, there would be no Lakeland Business Leaders Group and I would not be writing this blog post about leadership.

“Thanks for leading.”

I received a message from someone today about their appreciation for the work I do in creating an environment that fosters growth and nurtures business relationships in the community. At the end of his message, he added, “Thanks for Leading.” When I see messages like that, and I think about myself as a leader, it still surprises me. Not because I don’t think I am a leader – I am. I am someone who believes in my principles, I believe in uniting, not dividing, and I have no title – I just act. What surprises me is how far I have come and the simple fact that I was determined to make a difference – and that has made all the difference. There was no training, or course completed. There was no nod from above, no invitation to lead. I simply placed everything I had – passion, determination, and willingness to work and take risks – into something I believe in – community.

Find a way to help people, and do it consistently.

For over two years, I have taken action to unify the local community, because I think it’s the only way to achieve great things as a community- and I want great things for Lakeland. I have opened my heart and my mind to the myriad businesses and business people in Lakeland who are working hard to make a living, and a difference. I have supported thousands of people, simply because they have chosen to connect on the “socialsphere” and they are working hard to be heard, and they need to know that someone is paying attention to what they are saying. I have invited businesses to rally our LBL network to help them win contests, and some of them have won – we were instrumental in sending a local chef to Chicago to compete as a finalist in a national competition. I have promoted events, organizations, non-profits and individuals who needed support. I have identified a group of people who want to make a difference – and they support the Local Cash Mobs efforts I helped bring to Lakeland.

I don’t think I ever considered in all of this that I would emerge as a leader – that’s not what I was trying to do. Someone needed to help people connect – and since no one else was doing it, I did it. While I was looking for someone to lead me, I discovered that if it was going to happen, it had to start with me. Yet, it wasn’t an accident. It didn’t just “happen.” It was because I was passionate about serving the community, and because I didn’t wait for someone to invite me to help. I saw a need and decided I could help – and I did and I continue to do so. And, as long as I can help, I intend to do so.

No one is going to invite you to be a leader.

I believe there are a lot of people in Lakeland (everywhere actually) who are waiting for someone to ask them to help. They are waiting for an invitation to lead. I have learned that there is no invitation – and there is no map with detailed instructions as to how to go about making a difference. I don’t know why we are all so passive about getting involved. I am not sure why we think we need to have titles, or connections in order to use our skills and our desire to help and to make a difference. If there were more people willing to take initiative – to lead – I think they would find, as I have, that there are a lot of people who will help. Being a leader isn’t something you aspire to be. Being a leader comes as a result of being willing to work hard toward something important, and to serve the community as best as you possibly can.

What do you think it requires to become a leader? I’d love to know your thoughts, and hear what you think about leadership!